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03/08/2016
Lifting the veil (to the unconscious)
learning to live with grief, Michelle discovers a deeper truth.
For a split second, I get a sense that the origins of this feeling that troubles me occurred long before I was able to remember things clearly. I liken it to a familiar sensation that troubles me, yet somehow feels strangely comforting. I am unable to move beyond you. On the odd occasion I’m tempted to take a closer look, but I’m hesitant about what I could find below the surface. Will it bring me relief, or will it perturb me even more than I already am?
Why is it every time this same set of circumstances arises, that you rear your ugly head to terrorise me? The more I try to push you away, the greater the force with which you try to make yourself known. I am afraid, but you will not go away. The more I resist, the stronger you push. Oh what am I to do? I want to hide under the covers so that you won’t notice me and hopefully go away. This time, the force with which you wish to make yourself known is intolerable. I am tired and I need to rest.
But wait a minute. When I look back at all the times that this situation has presented itself, I notice the feelings are the same, but have somehow grown in intensity. Hang on, what if I decide to approach things differently? What if I take a peak beneath the surface? Maybe you are trying to tell me something? If I build up the courage and listen to what you want me to hear, does that mean that you’ll leave me alone? Remember to breathe and remember that I have survived everything that has happened up until now.
As I lift the veil between you and me to reveal the great mystery that lies beneath, I begin to understand that you are not as scary as I had imagined. You were just trying to show me that every version of this situation was providing me an opportunity to face and overcome my wounds. You were trying to help me all along, and I was too scared to embrace you and look you in the face. You are not so scary after all. In fact you have been my friend all along, waiting patiently for the right time to make yourself known.
Michelle Sacchetti
Counsellor
michelle@esolab.com.au
